This is a question so many couples ask us when they come to our conferences, or enter into counseling, is: “If our Core Values are so different, how can we be compatible?” But the fact of the matter is compatibility has nothing to do with whether your Core Values are the same. Compatibility is much more about how you honor and esteem each other in your differences. Aren’t your differences the very things that drew you together in the first place?
The better question is “How can I learn to cherish my Core Values and the Core Values of my lover?” When we focus on the good that we have to offer the world and the good our partner has to offer, we are less likely to focus on the negative, especially during times of conflict. The Gottmans have studied every aspect of relationship for many years and they believe compatibility is all about accepting relationship as opportunity. It’s an opportunity to grow emotionally, mentally and spiritually as a person, and as a couple. Do you accept influence from your spouse and honor your differences by inviting conversations about those different points of view? Those views are based on your core, innate unchanging values, perspective, life experiences and education. Which means you both have so much to offer!
Isn’t it time to invite in the differences and let both of you be the best people you can be?
So, to answer your question: Are we compatible?
The answer depends on you…can you embrace the differences as well as the similarities?
Take the CVI now and get started learning more about yourself and your partner.